It’s about time I write a blog,
I have not been so present with this website as promised, Gosh my good ideas, and procrastination get to me sometimes, and I apologise not only to the part of myself that is dedicated to the enthusiasm and dreams, but to those who have been waiting, waiting for this big launch and goodies promised… you may of given up on my blah, blah, blah, and I don’t blame you.
Somehow we have to win you back, LOL xx
I have to say, finding the discipline to commit to my work is tough with very young children. In fact finding the discipline to commit to anything is tough. As a tired mother of two under 3’s it is impossible not to compare myself to those amazing entrepreneur mums … although I still feel the baby cabbage head doesn’t help. The mind boggles as to how those super mums manage to get so organised and disciplined with themselves to make things work. You know the ones, the ones who get up one hour before the children, do half an hour meditation, prepare a super-food smoothie and sing to their little ones to wake them up. Do they have a cleaner? Do they have a Child-minder/Nanny? Do they have someone doing their ironing? Do they have a husband with a good income?
Who knows? But I don’t have any of those things… well not just yet xxx
But I do have my work. It’s just finding the space to do it. I know some mothers who have been able and prepared to pay for child care in order to continue their preferred sanity i.e., work.
Let’s be honest, having that time out, whether it would be half an hour in the supermarket ALONE (!!), having that late, late night bath (not only because you actually really need one, but simply for the lavender) and work. Work gives you adult interaction, a sense of worthiness and gratification. I love those baby groups just to connect to adults, I love my favourite little coffee bar THE SOUND LOUNGE to visit too. I could work there using their Wi-Fi and drink their most delicious decaf café lattes or the creamiest of hot chocolates… if I had the space too.
That’s what being a mum is and I am still learning. The art of juggling and embodying both roles. Trying desperately hard to maintain a sense of self-esteem and worthiness through my creative endeavours with a baby constantly attached to my breast covered in sick and punctuating every move with an apology about the space my child is taking up and the noise he is making.
So to all you mumpreneurs out there; I salute you. I want you to know how much you inspire me and keep me going on my good days, and if I am brutally honest how much you make me cry and I envy you on my bad days!!!
This blog has been prompted by one such woman; the beautiful, wonderful, amazing person, who I have the privilege of calling my friend, Mrs Elloa Atkinson.
Last night I listened to one of Elloa’s podcasts and was reminded of being human in all its flaws, dysfunction and chaos. It made me think of how human my own obstacles are. Elloa would call them a gift… and in my more enlightened moments when I am grounded enough to connect, or broken enough to desperately want to listen, I agree with her. Last night as I listened, I felt a tear or two roll down my cheek as I remembered the path and the truth that brought me to this place. And I remembered how alienated I feel from it and how far away it feels from me sometimes.
I am a constant student of these inspirational women around me, some mothers some not… I just want to say I love you, and that I am proud to be one of you; with my flaws, my dysfunction and unpredictability; with my tears and laughter.
For now I continue to try to stand as tall as I can with my back sore from breastfeeding and the baby carrier, with my eyes dark from the sleepless nights from my oh so beautiful little inspirational toddler Kiara who is an absolute delicious handful..
LOL x yes I am so proud to have you all in my life.
I have found the time at last to post the newsletter that Mrs Elloa Atkinson so kindly did for me to help get me through the first months of our new-born. Inti Sebastian is now 3 months old and is doing well.
Thank you Elloa I apologise for the delay in posting your beautiful newsletter. (I forget the sleepless nights, and I have to say I am absolutely exhausted).
Mrs Elloa Atkinson, I am privileged to know you personally and I just want to say Thank you for always being there when I fall asleep, it always amazes me that when we really need it, something is always there.
I love you x